I'm blogging about Sarah's blog...

Question:
Can someone take advantage of a church? If so, is it ok for them to continue, once it's realized whats going on? Did Jesus ever have to cut someone off? Where did he draw the line between compassion and enablement? Did he draw a line?

I absolutely think so. There is a difference between helping and enableing. When I worked as the office manager of my church we had the opportunity to "help" many homeless. We had one character named Barkley, proud as can be, that we helped get into a home. Barkley was very demanding and rude to us and when we wouldn't give him what he asked he would scream and yell and call us mean names and go outside and beat his car with his walker.

One day in the middle of summer Barkley came into my office and asked to be let into one of our other units to take a nap on the couch. This is something we would let him do regularly because it was hot and he needed to rest. However, this particular day there was nobody working in those offices and I was not allowed to let him in there alone. I told him that he could sit with me in my cool office until the other staff members returned from lunch and that he could use my bathroom to freshen up and cool off. Those were the rules he knew them and chose to belittle me and storm off.

The next day he came back and told me that it was my fault that he passed out in the gutter and had to be hospitalized the night before from heat exhaustion. I kindly told him that he made the choice to leave my office and throw a temper tantrum in the street and that he cannot blame me for his choices. Had he accepted my offer and waited just a few more minutes for the other staff members to return he would have had a nice cool room to rest in.

Barkley was warned that if he ever came back and barked orders and treated anybody like that...he would not be welcome back. And he changed...I don't think he ever yelled at me again.

I think a lot of times helping people is actually calling them on their bs and forcing them to make a choice. The church should see potential in people and call them to a higher standard...God's standard and sometimes that means some sort of tough love or disconnect. Barkley allowed us as a church to speak into his life...which I think helped him socially to grow and improve. He learned a new way of communicating that could help him.

We should have a forgiving and open attitude towards people who are taking advantage...but we definitely shouldn't let them treat us like door mats and stand up for what we believe is right. Sin is sin and requires consequence and discipline but when repentence follows, forgiveness should be given graciously.

I can think of examples in the Bible but can't think of any references. Just that Jesus was always forgiving when the disciples messed up. He would stop them when they did something wrong...but from what I remember they would change their behavior. Example...please correct me if I'm wrong...they were turning away children from seeing Jesus and he told them to let the children come to see him...so they did. Peter denied Jesus 3 times before his death and then after he saw him again when Peter was broken and distraught he forgave him and blessed him.

Matthew 28:19-20 (NIV) says,
19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."